hrmph

If I attempt to say anything remotely serious today I'm afraid I'll be shipped off to a padded room somewhere, so until my neurons calm the fuck down, you can read this gripping article about the McDonald's Olympics [via where else?]:

"Behold the perfection of an order of French fries served up by Luis Casanova. The crispness, the hotness, the just-the-right-amount-of-salt-ness. And don't forget that smile when he serves up that tasty bag of McDonald's potatoes. Casanova, 39, has worked hard to perfect his technique."

"Participants are paired up with a judge and scored on things like hand-washing and how long it takes to assemble an order."

I'm convinced that the Local Paper is secretly an Onionesque parody and somebody somewhere in Central Wis is laughing his or her ass off.

And, now that I've finally got a shiny little Mac that holds eighty bajillion songs, I can play the ITunes shuffle game, which turned out to be far less embarassing than it could have been (plus, the juxtaposition of the last two is just brilliant):

Television - Elevation
The Cure - Boys Dont Cry
Delays - Zero Zero One
Kiss - Back In the New York Groove
The Lemonheads - It's A Shame About Ray
Black Sheep - This or That
Monaco - What Do You Want From Me
The Smiths - Shoplifters of the World
The Velvet Underground - Who Loves the Sun
Bjork - Big Time Sensuality
Elvis Presley - Suspicious Minds
Dido - Thank You
REM - The Great Beyond
Madonna - Ray Of Light
Jagged Edge ft. Nelly - Where the Party At
Cat Stevens - Father and Son