aqui esta ella

Lately, Tuesdays have been my favorite TV-watching days as they're loaded with gems like Next Top Model, Showbiz Moms and Dads, American Idol, Queer Eye, and the Real World. Since most of the aforementioned shows have recently left us, I was worried that spending yesterday evening hungover on the couch would be sadly unfulfilling. But oh was I ever wrong. I'm not usually the laugh out loud at the TV type, but one very special program had me in constant tears of joy. Miss Universe Pageant, I salute you. The highlights:

*The glitch in the opening scene that caused the introductions for Miss Geor-gee-yaaaaah and Miss Germany to repeat no less than eight times.

*Hoping that cohost Billy Bush was related to George W, thinking that it was too good to be true but that they do look eerily similar in that chimpanzee kinda way, and finding out via Google that he is indeed Dubya's nephew.

*The litany of esteemed judges, including the two Apprentice finalists, "supermodels" who are not in fact supermodels, and the World Speedwalking Champion. Of course.

*The lone circus performer doing tricks on a rope BEHIND the audience during the evening gown montage. Wha??

*Gloria Estefan's first performance, in which her microphone was not working properly and all you could hear were the band and the pre-recorded vocals.

*Gloria Estefan's second performance, in which one of her large, gold earrings fell out and she tried unsuccessfully to turn her head to the side so that no one would notice, and then gave up and pretended that she did not look absolutely ridiculous. (Note: it appeared that ol' Gloria may have been on a large dose of narcotic painkillers, so it's quite possible that she really did not notice.)

*Being told by Miss Universe 2003 that MY dream in life is to be Miss Universe. If you too are a girl, don't hesitate to enter next year's competition, as this is apparently your dream as well.