the only thing i like more than WATCHING non-dating reality tv shows

is actually FINISHING them. Err, rather, it is reading snarky recaps on my new favorite website. Like my addictions to Marlboro Lights, Weissbier, burritos the size of my head, the Barney's Co-op, and boys in vintage t-shirts (hey, at least no drugs or gambling!), I should feel bad about my reality television addiction, but gosh darnit it makes me happy, so I don't. The TWoP articles are quite long, so you'll need "one of those jobs" to enjoy them. If you don't trust me or don't have the time, here are a couple of snippets from the latest Real World and American Idol snarkfests, respectively:

"Cameran interviews that Jackie seems like a nice girl (which is Cameran-ese for 'I'm about to say something really mean, so I have to preface it with something insincere') but that she is 'a little on the loose side.' Because she talks to boys in bars? And allegedly drinks beer? Wow, what a whore."
&
“Jamie interviews that Cameran is hating on Jackie, and that she should hate the player, not the game. No, she really said that. Is it 1999 and no one told me?”

“Diana will sing 'My Heart Will Go On.' Why? Whyyyyyy? This song choice just shows how sheltered and detached she is. Anybody with any interaction with human beings anywhere on earth would know that people couldn't possibly be sicker of this song.”
&
"Next up is John Stevens. John's favorite movie is Disney's Aladdin. Y'all realize you're not on ABC, right? You're not going to win any points with that one. And…Aladdin? Come on. That's not even one of the top five Disney animated features. He loves it because it's fun and has great music. He likes the big parade scene in the movie. Is he on medication? Please tell me he's on some sort of medication. That somebody at the tender age of sixteen could be so dreadfully, painfully dull fills me with utter despair."

I doubt you will be shocked to learn that tonight I intend to watch both shows while smoking, drinking, eating a burrito, and wearing something overpriced with a cute boy in a vintage t-shirt, provided he's not feeling antisocial and lazy. Ahem.