i'm just this bored

[via Callalillie]

1. Grab the nearest book to you, turn to page 18, line 7. Read what it says:
"Setup direct order entry by linking your Excel spreadsheet to the Autotrader Scratch Pad."

2. Stretch out your left hand as far as you can. What do you touch first?
Dipak, the skinny little Indian computer guy who only eats rice and beans.

3. What was the last thing you watched on tv?
A Discovery Channel documentary on feral children, and The OC.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
4:20?

5. Look at the clock. What time is the actual time?
4:27.

6. With the exception of the computer, what do you hear?
Dipak humming.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
7:25 am. Take a wild guess.

8. Before you did this survey, what were you looking at?
My multi-screen computer pod.

9. What are you wearing?
Reddish-brownish pants, black shirt, black shoes. I hate work clothes.

10. Did you dream last night?
No.

11. When did you last laugh?
Just a minute ago, when Superboss decided to chat with me. Or do you mean laugh for real?

12. What are on the walls in the room you are in?
The offices of the Really Rich and Important People.

13. See anything weird lately?
See Question #3.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Desperately trying to be clever kills time. Yay.

15. What was the last film you saw?
Threesome, starring the busted Baldwin and Lara Flynn Boyle pre-anorexia.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A diverse stock portfolio so I'd never have to work for The Man ever ever again.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
My pornstar name is Spanky Columbus.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Eliminate the effect of calories on body fat.

19. Do you like to dance?
Only when intoxicated enough not to remember.

20. George W. Bush:


21. Imagine your first child is a girl. What do you name her?
Eva, Eve, Ava, or something like that. And I thought of it first, Snoozle.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy. What do you name him?
Trampus.