I've said it before and I'll say it again. OB/Gyn's need to stop giving crack to parents-to-be. There is no other logical explanation for the travesties bestowed upon so many innocent babies. I've always been pro-choice, but not when it comes to names. There need to be government-sanctioned rules.
This weekend, my dear FAB became an aunt to a little boy with a name that will undoubtedly ensure his intimate familiarity with flushing toilets in the near future. And then I read this. And then I went to the Local Paper to see what the bundles of joy in my hometown are being called. In just one day at the Local Hospital, we have:
*A son, Braeden, joining a sister, Kamryn.
*Twins Roman Kenwood and Olivia Mae. They're joining sisters Adeline and Evelyn and their last name is Paffel. Maybe they'll grow up and make some bizarro Victorian/Wild West/Typical-Wisconsinites-of-Polish-and-German-descent reality show?
*Jaidyn Alexandria joining half-sister Desirae. Vowels are fun to play with!
*Kelvin. I will never understand this name. Why not just go all the way and name the kid Celcius or Fahrenheit? It would be more UNIQUE.
*And finally, the worst of the worst, Kia Lynn, joining sister Kiana Lynn. Why must the kids be named almost the exact same thing? And why must one be named after a crappy car?
Mark my words, should little humans ever come out of my body they may be genetically predisposed to various anxiety and depressive disorders, but they will not have stupid names!
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- Gina
- Baltimore, hon!, MD
- Hi my name is Gina. I like a lot of things. You will find them listed below, in alphabetical order for lack of a better order, mostly for my own web-surfing convenience. I also like my family, my friends, emotionally unavailable men, visiting people in far away places, taking pictures, dogs, my cats, sandwiches, long walks, Central Wisconsin, buying things on Ebay, reading books very very slowly, stressing myself out to the point of developing sleep and digestive disorders, and pilates.
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8 comments:
I spurted up laughing when I read that poor little Rommel had died of Legionaire's Disease.
Me being a horrible person aside, the historical irony in that is just too much. Fate had a hand there; this was meant to be noticed by sickos like me.
heh. yeah, and not to knock anyone (ok, i am knocking someone), but i find it kind of amusing that the callalillie post is asking for suggestions that are better than whatever the current choice is, and half the suggestions have gotta be worse. so obviously the poor naming is not just an affliction of the rural midwest...
As a Korean, I take offense to your suggestion that Kias are crappy cars. Hmph.
And as for my poor nephew, I'm still taking suggestions as to what totally unrelated nickname I can call him so as to afford actually having to call him by his absurd real name. Anybody?
i think your nephew's only possible salvation in life is to drop every other name of his. namely, the first and third names just have to go. the middle name and latter part of the hyphenation are both fine. come to think of it, that actually has a ring to it.
no one has any idea what i'm talking about besides soozle. sorry.
Pretty soon, names such as John and Jennifer are going to be so rare that you can name your kid that, and not have five hundred children running to you when you call that name out. (As long as they're not spelled Jawn or Jennyfir, or something "special" like that.) But you call out Braden or Madison, and you'll have the whole pre-school in your car.
Not to mention that these kids with "unique" names are going to have goshdarn hard times with spelling.
And then there's this: http://malaland.typepad.com/blog/2004/08/espn.html
Let's all please ignore WHY I know this, but Jessica Simpson's friend/assistant? The one that lives with her? Well her name is PRONOUNCED "Casey" but is spelled "CaCee."
That sucks.
woah MG! i didn't even know that! and, sadly, i have seen every episode of newlyweds. i can't even begin to comment on how atrocious that is. thanks for the very important info!
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