Monday, August 16, 2004

let the fun, alternative modes of income begin

Given my aversion to hourly wages, I am not too keen on acquiring another "normal" job. So I took a peek at good ol' Craigslist and found a post looking for subjects for a brain imaging study. $350 for one day of guinea pig-itude, which simply involves radioactive materials being pumped into one's arteries (not veins, arteries) and lying in a claustrophobia-inducing chamber with horrendously loud pounding noises. Sounds good to me! Anyway, a study recruiter called today and went through my life medical history. It was all a lot of "no. no. no's" until he got to the drinking. To make myself look like less of a lush, or so I thought, I told him I consumed, on average, 5-10 drinks per week. (In truth, it's 5-10 drinks per night when I go out, which is actually not that often right now, but 2-3 times when I'm in better spirits.) This causes him to delve into a series of at least twenty more questions, clearly hinting that I must be an alcoholic ("Do your family and friends say you drink too much? No? Really???") culminating with, "Do you really think you can stop drinking for an ENTIRE WEEK before the study?" Yes, Juan, I can. Now give me my $350. That's almost 50 burritos!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dude, I found that same study once (also when I was seguing from crap job to current job). After the lady called me back and explained the "test" (I dinstinctly remember it taking her 3 whole minutes to rattle off how your body is used), there was a short silence at which point I said, "This doesn't sound like it's for me." After which I couldn't hang up the phone quickly enough. Hm. Just make sure you won't be eating those newfound burritos with your newfoudn second mouth that sprouts on your back from all the radiation... Drone

Gina said...

oh pish posh. it's totally normal shit. just sounds a little frightening. they inject radioactive dye in people all the time for x-rays n stuff. the only part i'm not looking forward to is the artery part. if nurses have problems even finding my veins...eesh.

Gloria said...

When in med school, we had to learn the CAGE questions which screened for alcoholic tendencies. They were: are others (or is it, are you) CONCERNED about how much you drink?; do you get ANNOYED when other people criticise you about your drinking; do you feel GUILTY when you drink... and then the last one, nobody could remember. But since the answer to the first three was always no, we never really considered ourselves alcoholics.

Andrew said...

I should offer to do it for free, on the condition that they confirm that I do have a human brain and that it works.

Gina said...

heh, i did one study involving just a regular old mri. in addition to the $60, it was indeed quite comforting to see that there are no things in my head that shouldn't be there.

also, i have actual work at my new job. literally no time to blog. this is so foreign to me.

Anonymous said...

umm... i would like to know about that study as well...

-Naomi

Gina said...

it's all about craigslist, my friend. though you'll have to pretend you've suffered from real depression in the past. i'm counting when i was 12 and then embellishing a tad.