late december back in sixty threeee

*Kidman Schmidman. Last night at dinner with work people we dined on caviar mousse, fried cheese, and baklava within close proximity of Frankie Valli. Take that, Drone! Despite the fact that I grew up listening to Oldies and am familiar with the bulk of the Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons catalogue, I was not the person who called out this one. Rather, it was the client/friend of my boss, who regaled us with stories of drunken carousing involving her extremely well-adjusted child, elevator operators as an au pair on the Upper East Side, and Italian male models she and her friends kidnapped in Napa. I want to be her when I grow up.

*This NYT article on the perplexing nature of the Ipod shuffle feature has to be one of the most retarded things I've ever read. Bob--if you don't want the Beastie Boys coming on when you're gettin' jiggy with your girlfriend, make a freakin' playlist! Bicycle dude--your Ipod does not know when it's time to "hit you up with 'In Da Club,'" and hence make you "all of a sudden in da club." Slow news day?

*Yes yes yes! My first blogger idol has a second blog, to which us cityfolk can all relate. I wanna be Eurotrash when I grow up, too.

*The Blacktable describes New Yorkers to a T in two brilliant paragraphs:

First off, the foot speed of an average New Yorker is approximately 447 miles per hour. Please adjust your walking habits accordingly. You cannot walk six abreast on the sidewalk here like you're in the opening credits of 90210, eyes aloft toward tall buildings above. We don't say hello to people as we walk by, either; there are eight million people in the street. It's nothing political, you see. You're just getting in the fucking way.

We're a friendly people. It should be noted that we're especially helpful when being asked for directions, because we like to show off how smart we are. The correct response to directions given generously, however, is not, "Oh, 11 blocks, huh. Should I take a cab?" No, you should not. Anything short of a ride to the airport demands another type of transportation, unless you're completely wasted and navigating that special area where 4th Street crosses 12th Street. Please, try to pay attention.