Wednesday, August 11, 2004

t minus zero days

Today is my very last day at JPMorganStanleyGoldmanStearnsLynchBrothers. I'm so excited/scared shitless about leaving that I can't begin to think straight and will probably be on one constant smoke break all day. Leaving pretty much every other thing I've been involved with for any length of time (e.g., summer camp, rowing, my little coffee shop job, hell...even high school) resulted in a healthy dose of sentimentality and nostalgia, but now I'm just feeling ambivalent. I guess I'll miss the pickles that come with the sandwiches in the company cafeteria. Those are the best damn pickles in the world. Anyway, as I'm sure my final departure at 5:00 will result in no fanfare whatsoever, I feel I should bid farewell to those whom I have been seeing on a daily basis for the last year and 1.5 months and will likely never see again.

*Mainboss. You are a wonderful boss. Your sense of logic and down-to-earth nature (you have a wife. and kids. that you actually like and spend time with!) make me question what you are doing here. Thanks for giving lil' ol' me a chance and a big-ass bonus with which I paid off all of my credit card debt, even though I've since replaced said debt. I'm sure I learned something somewhere along the line.

*Stereotypicalboss. Keep doing your thing at Spice Market, or whatever the new "it" place is.

*Fatboss. While I will not miss your incessant playing of Hamsterdance and similar annoying-as-hell computer ditties, your rightwing diatribes and occasional temper tantrums were quite entertaining. Stay away from those carbs!

*Twirlyman. Thanks for introducing me to a psychological disorder I'd only heard about on Sally Jesse Raphael. There are other ways to deal with your stress and anxiety, and if you seek treatment I'm sure the hair will grow back.

*Mr. Fartypants. You really should see a doctor about that. Or at least stop eating eggs and beans and excessive amounts of vegetables, for the love of all that is holy.

*Person who reads this site and also works at JPMorganStanleyGoldmanStearnsLynchBrothers. You caused me to have a minor nervous breakdown when I was in Wisconsin and discovered that someone had viewed my website from the company domain. I was SURE that it was my bosses and that, upon my return, I would be escorted out of the building by armed guards like Pre-Fatboss Crazyboss was six months ago. I forgive you; you didn't know. Best of luck, and may your bonuses be large.

*Princeton Girl. Please eat a sandwich once in a while. They have these really good ones across the street on multi-grain bread with avocado, cheddar, tomato, cucumber, sprouts, and a little mayo. Deeelish.

Now, who wants to place bets on whether I get my shit together enough to continue paying my rent, or whether I curl up like a roly-poly bug, relinquish my cute and cozy apartment, and hide out in Wisco for the rest of my life?

6 comments:

Andrew said...

I'll take a push.

(I don't really know what that means, but it's a vegas betting something or other that I think works here.)

Gina said...

yeah, i have absolutely no idea what that means. but thanks for your support?

Anonymous said...

Hey- it's Naomi....

I think you need to get your shit together and stay here. I've decided that I need to do some more Aquil stalking once he gets back from the Olypmics, and who else is gonna take the fung wah to Boston with me and eat girl scout cookies.

Remember the important things in life...

Gina said...

mmm, girl scout cookies and olympic rowers. you have a point. now i just need a goddamn job. or a long lost rich uncle or something.

Andrew said...

So can you still really only label that column on the right "Threats to my job", now that they have completed their mission and successfully stripped away said job?

Andrew said...

LONGEST. BLOG. HOLE. EVER. Who do you think you are, Sooz or something?