quaker oat squares topped with "rainforest granola" and soymilk for breakfast

All of a sudden I'm out in Dairyland at a rehab center in the form of my parents' 1960's three-bedroom ranch-style house. I woke up in NYC Saturday morning feeling like utter crap after yet another night of having a little too much fun for my own good. I started to think about all the people who were away for the holiday weekend with their families and friends. Rather than planning some elaborate vacation as I'd previously intended, I decided it would be nice to spend some time at home this summer relaxing. Then I remembered that my sister will soon be departing for the other end of the world, and there is no way I would spend a week in Wisconsin's Best Small City without a partner in sarcasm. Three hours after a little visit to Orbitz, I was on a plane.

My return flight isn't until this Sunday, so I'm taking this rare time of zero responsibility to do a little physical, mental, and emotional detox. Step One is to kick the nicotine addiction. I'm approaching Hour 50 right now, and, well, it sucks. Despite the profound fatigue, dry mouth, dizziness, headaches, and extreme bloatedness, I've managed to get into a good book (haven't read one of those things in over a year, and, surprise to no one who knows me, my first venture back into the world of literacy is by a dead Russian guy) watch a very dated but entertaining Clint Eastwood movie (hot damn, they just don't make men like that anymore) and take my girl Babe out for a walk (she is a certified doggy senior citizen but was dragging me through the woods like a hyperactive puppy.)

So, given my rather catatonic and uncomfortable state (yes, Mom, I'm just tired from traveling,) my goals for today, Day Two, are to ride the stationary bike, make more progress in the book, compose a compelling e-mail to my boss such that I don't get fired for my sudden departure, and not be too unbearably cranky. That is all. Perhaps in a day or two I will be able to put on non-pajama pants and leave the house for a little bowling or shopping extravaganza at Target.

Alrightie, I'm off to the basement gym. Since I hardly packed anything, I'll be exercising in my mom's t-shirt and shorts. They are both made of hemp.