of shoes, and ships, and sealing wax, of cabbages, and kings

Yes, folks, the time has come. Today I was informed that this Wednesday I will be saying goodbye to the World o' Finance so that the eager beaver on the other side of the desk can take my place. You'd think that in the past three and a half weeks I would have found new employment. Well, you'd be wrong.

Part of my lack of aggression in the job hunt has to do with the simple fact that I do not really desire another job. But another big part has to do with all the corporate bullshit that just makes me ill. Sadly, jobs devoid of said bullshit, like, say, playing with rich people's dogs, would require living off of PB&J and denying myself the right to designer denim, simply in order to remain in my beloved 144-square-foot studio in the sky.

Coincidentally, today I received a newsletter from the temp agency I signed up with (and have been blowing off for weeks.) Based on my allergy to words like "team-player," "self-starter," "multi-tasker," and "110%," I don't think I'm what they're looking for:

*Must love project work, be a great team player, have excellent Word, Excel & PowerPoint and be ready to give 110%. This is a great opportunity for someone who really wants to get involved with a talented and driven team.

*Person must be sharp, have very strong PC skills, including PowerPoint, be a successful multi-tasker and know when 110% just isn't enough. [is 115% enough then?]

*Top global marketing technology firm is looking for a dynamic, take charge Executive Assistant to support the VP of Sales and Regional Director. This position is fast-paced, involves heavy scheduling and requires a take-charge assistant. A self-starter with strong written and verbal communication skills, the ability to handle multiple tasks simultaneously and a forward thinking mentality is required. [something tells me they want someone to take charge]

*A sense of urgency, terrific organizational skills and a positive energetic attitude a must. Will also have project work, such as helping with new hire orientations. Super-duper perks, fabulous environment and free Starbucks coffee! $28K [hmm, maybe if it includes free soy lattes]

I can almost feel my hives flaring up. Wait, I don't have hives. But I do have a couple of promising leads. I'm "in the running" for a position at Drone's fancypants employer, and Stereotypicalboss, bless his heart, has connections leaking through his stereotypical dress shirt. Nevertheless, I'll be stocking up on peanut butter and bread, rice and beans, and those microwavable cups of salt this weekend.