some people think i'm sweet. really.

Some of these are funny, some are just plain sad, and some are both, like the singer/songwriter girl Perplexa and I saw at C-Note last night. This girl was like a watered-down, acoustic Jewel, who was such a cliche she was almost a satire of herself, but, unfortunately, she was so serious we couldn't help but mock nearly every word out of her mouth ("Umm, this next song is about my ex-boyfriend.") Perplexa's friend Chaya even made up her own ditty, singing "I have a vaginaaaaaa, I have a vaginaaaaaa" in a high-pitched voice while making a guitar-strumming motion. This is probably one of those "you had to be there" stories, but it was so hilarious I nearly wet my Diesels. Do it yourself and just try not to laugh. Anyway, after far too many minutes of this, we started feeling like bad people (after all, she seemed like a nice girl) and just had to relocate. Speaking of annoying people with vaginas, yesterday after work I found myself on a crowded Times Square subway platform, as usual. A mousy, Marie Claire subscriber type woman shuffled along slowly in front of me, and I accidentally kicked her wedge rubber flip flop such that it flew off her foot and slid about five feet in front of her. I apologized immediately, but she turned around and snapped loudly enough that I could hear over my headphones, "Thanks a LOT! I really appRECiated that!" Dude! You're walking on a Times Square subway platform on a rainy day during rush hour wearing wedge rubber flip flops. Worse things have happened. Just glare at the offender like a normal, jaded New Yorker and get on with your life. Crap like this is what causes me to walk the two miles home at every opportunity and, subsequently, consider that a workout and never go to the gym. My cellulitey thighs are all your fault, mousy Marie Claire lady!