kiefer <3 my friends

So it turns out that the same day Drone spied Kiefer Sutherland chatting with his agent in Midtown, Perplexa saw him wasted at a little Irish pub in Gramercy. Now where will that crazy Kiefer turn up next?

Speaking of celebs with weirdo names, I feel it is my duty as resident onomastics expert (thanks, Andrew and dictionary.com) to regurgitate the New Yorkish list of the most onomastically unfortunate celebrity offspring. All I have to say is who the hell is Paula Yates, and why did she get to have sex with Michael Hutchence?

Victoria Adams/David Beckham: Brooklyn
Woody Allen/Soon-Yi Previn: Bechet Dumaine, Manzie Tio
Forest Whitaker: Ocean, Sonnet, True
Gillian Anderson/Clyde Klotz: Piper Maru
Erykah Badu/Andre 3000: 7 (Seven)
Robby Benson/Karla DeVito: Zephyr, Lyric
Marisa Berenson: Starlite
Bruce Willis/Demi Moore: Rumer Glenn, Scout LaRue, Tallulah Belle
Bjork: Sindri
Donald Sutherland: Roeg, Rossif
David Byrne: Malu
David Carradine/Barbara Hershey: Free (he changed it to Tom)
Mia Farrow: Lark Song, Summer Song
Jerry Garcia/Manasha Matheson: Keelin
Bob Geldof/Paula Yates: Fifi Trixiebelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Little Pixie
Michael Hutchence/Paula Yates: Heavenly Hiraani Tigerlily
Geena Davis: Kian, Kaiis
Snoop Doggy Dogg: Chordé
Nikki Sixx: Gunner, Decker, Storm
Connie Sellecca: Gib, Prima Sellechia
Shari Shattuck: Creason Carbo, Calee Maudine
Damon Wayans: Fuddy, Trixie
Frank Zappa: Moon Unit, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, Dweezil, Diva
Robert Downey, Jr.: Indio
John Mellencamp: Hud, Speck Wildhorse

UPDATE: I just made fun of an apparent suicide victim. Now waiting patiently for my handbasket.