Friday, September 17, 2004

is it hazy out, or is that just my eye gloss?

Well well, what have we here? Another 'osphere-wide blog slump! Given what happened when spring turned to summer, I am not surprised by this as it is far too quickly turing from summer to fall. I've tried to write something every day, much like when I continued to compete in crew races on top of crippling insomnia, bronchitis, and a torn rib muscle. Okay, maybe not like that, but the point is I've tried and failed miserably to construct anything longer than a paragraph for no tangible reason. Things I have attempted to write about this week:

*The tragic corporatization of my beloved alma mater, as evidenced by the fact that almost all of the old staples, like little independent delis, bookstores, and best bagel places in the entire fucking city have been replaced by shiny, expensive boringness. Also, this photo I found on 114th of FAB's old flame looking a little too excited to get an autograph from the cutie patootie Hanson brother.

*The slippery slope into high maintenance girldom, as evidenced by my rapid trajectory from being an eyeliner and pedicure virgin to one who has a bikini wax appointment tomorrow at the place Gwyneth goes, and will not be getting a landing strip because that is sooooo passe. Also, the fact that I have kept one nausea-inducing girl on my AIM buddy list, simply so that I can read away messages like "At home in the Chi! Laying out and then getting mani's and pedi's before tonight!" to remind myself that I will never, ever, for the love of Jesus reach the bottom of the slope.

*The state of this season's fashion, including the rash of annoying articles about how slut clothes (i.e., low-slung jeans that when worn properly are highly flattering) are out and modest clothes (i.e., formless tents that only look good on supermodels or people who actually lived in the 1940's) are in. I'd link to an article but I've come across about 2,938,423 lately. Also, a corollary to this phenomenon--Gina's Ugg Theorem, which states that a., Uggs are ugly and unflattering, b., the reason Uggs became so popular is because they look cool on hot celebrities and supermodels, c., the reason they look cool on hot celebrities and supermodels is because they look gorgeous IN SPITE OF what is on their feet, and their gorgeousness is perhaps emphasized by the fact that they can get away with this, and d., Uggs on pretty much anyone else look ridiculous, making for a slew of fashion victims of a magnitude unseen since permed, poofy bangs and Aquanet. (Note, Gina's Ugg Theorem also applies to those flouncy little mini-skirts that should only be worn by those with no hips, ass, or leg muscle/fat whatsoever.)

Holy shit, I wrote something. Also, in case you'd given up on my dear friend Drone, he is back in full, hilarious form.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

it's naomi...

just wanted to post a big fat ASS in remembrance of days past...

can't make it to alumni day and i'm bummed, but i'll be in miami...

hope all is well in your office across the street from mine...

Fat Asian Baby said...

No! It wasn't Uggs I saw on that stupid bitch at a club Friday night, it was FAKE UGGS! Even worse. Why, I ask, Why?

Gina said...

have you heard about/seen the new ugg ponchos? i am going to roll on the ground laughing at the first person i see actually wearing one.