Tuesday, September 28, 2004

fucking genius

Via Blacktable's weekly Black List:

DISCOVERING THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS: One night, I received cunnilingus comparable to a gap-toothed bunny gnawing at a piece of dry lettuce. The next day, in regaling a male friend with the tale of my anticlimax, he said, "Well, he just didn't know what he was doing. I'm so much better than that." Of course, I wanted proof. So desperate was he to verify his claims, my friend went spelunking for a good 45 minutes in some fucked up macho efforts to prove his worth. Not that I cared about his ego. Since then, I've tried this on several boys. I simply claim to have received mediocre oral, and they get right to work. Ego is a delicate thing, I've learned. Oh yeah, and sometimes I reciprocate. Of course, it helps when they tell me that their last date gave head like a nun on lithium. I'm better than that, right? C average on the oral, A for effort. -- Happy G.


Why have I never thought of this? Thanks for the tip, Happy G.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

fantabulous!

-naomi

barkeep said...

guys have so few secrets, I should probably not give this one away but if you're nice-looking ~60% of guys will go down on you at a word, ego bruised or not.

Gina said...

ya know, i've always kinda assumed that that is the case, but i've always been too chickenshit to give it a try. guess i need to grow some balls. hardy har har.

Jimmy said...

i wish someone would tell ME that they've received only mediocre oral... besides my gf, of course.

barkeep said...

if you grow some balls, that statistic drops from 60% to ~22%

Andrew said...

What's "oral"?

Anonymous said...

freaking genius. yeah I need some balls to ask my male friends for some charity oral

Carencro said...

If you are a girl,,,, Say no more,,,,
Cee I did told you so,,,, cher,,,,

amen, A Man, amen,,,.