feral pigs

An Assortment of Headlines From Today's Local Paper

• Guns affect domestic violence
  
  
• Invasive wild pigs seen in central Wisconsin
  
  
• Ice cream then, beer now
  

I would like to note that the object of my seventh grade affections is quoted in that last article. If he'd married me as I'd planned, I could be spending my evenings drinking a nice microbrew, hitting invasive wild pigs on my way home in the minivan, and taking care not to get in any drunken-domestic-dispute-fueled gunfire. Sounds not that dissimilar from my current life, only replace "microbrew" with "$8 vodka tonic", "hitting wild pigs" with "puking out cab window", and "drunken domestic dispute" with "accidentally sleeping with inappropriate people." Only, in Wisconsin it would all be a hell of a lot cheaper AND Nascar t-shirts are respectable fashion choices.

(Yes, I am finally trying to learn some basic html, and I am a little too excited about it, so expect lots of bulleted lists and other such fancy things. Shut up.)