Friday, October 07, 2005

exploding subways, bird flu, and a hurricane have a great weekend!

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*MJ Garrett, he of the Real World: Philadelphia, clown hair, and eyes wonkier than Paris's, graced my hometown recently with his tales of post-college woe. He advised the star struck high school students against banking on a career with the NFL, recommended Reality Television Star as a viable alternative, and enlightened them about the nature of those scary gay people: "Now, I let my other friends know, it's nothing like they think. They're not out to get you." Thanks for sharing, MJ.

*Blagg sticks it to American Apparel: "Oh, I know. The clothes are 'sweatshop free', made in America. Not just America, either - Downtown LA. That's where the cool, socially responsible shit is all going down. That's great, really it is. Be sure to pat yourselves on the back while enjoying all your Asian manufactured electronics, and strolling around in your Underpaid Malaysian Child-crafted Nike Dunks, you fucking morons." Truer words... American Apparel is kind of like Paris Hilton--the right gimmick at the right time garners instant fame for no inherent reason, and before you know what happened you're sitting at home in your 100% cotton 70's style gym shorts wondering how Mary-Kate must be feeling about those Hilton biatches right about now. People are simple creatures.

*If only she were right:

Because You Red States Don't Smell So Good
Tourist woman #1: This is a really quaint neighborhood!
Tourist woman #2: Yeah, but it's really expensive. A small one-bedroom apartment is like $1,000 a month!
Tourist woman #1: Oh, my! Why would someone pay that?

--Bleecker & 11th

*Last night E and I were at my over-$1000, 144-square-foot one-room apartment in an uncool neighborhood to watch her friend Brendan charm the audience on Jeopardy. Brendan put forth a valiant effort but was ultimately beaten handily by Jason Richards, who is the next Ken Jennings and also an extraordinary toolbag. Nice work anyway, Brendan, and even my cold stone heart fluttered a bit when you mentioned spending a month's rent on lunch with your girlfriend in Paris. Sigh.


Robo's Drone said...

Wow. Those Jeopardy contestants sure are quite the... lookers.

calvo said...

weird. that's the second time in the last couple weeks I've heard someone say they knew a Jeopardy contestant (this was the other).

last night when jason richards was on screen, my housemate's boyfriend walked into the room and declared, "that guy's totally still a virgin"....I think he might be right.

Gina said...

i heartily concur. even if he gave me all his jeopardy winnings, i don't think i would sleep with him. and i'm pretty slutty.