Friday, October 15, 2004

i have a giant mayonnaise stain on my shirt

A big shout out to the parents for providing me with the nature and the nurture to grow up and not find the following email forwards clever and/or inspirational [via Perplexa's Unsolicited Advice Cousin]:

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.

Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.......

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.

They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Share this with other women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked!

Now Men....

Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

and

Today is International Very Good Looking Damn Smart Woman's Day, so please send this message to someone you think fits this description.

Please do not send it back to me as I have already received it from a Very Good Looking Damn Smart Woman! (fill in - Matt's aunt Diane)

Good motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOOHOO, what a ride!"

Have an amazing day!

Fortunately for my keyboard and proverbial TPS Reports, I don't throw up easily.

2 comments:

Robo's Drone said...

Oh, jeezle. I always say that's why I love you, G. You're not an easy apple. Gooh.

Gina said...

i'd say i'm a granny smith. cut up in slices and served with jif superchunk. or better yet, nutella. mmmmm.