her face will be a household name

Yoanna House? No, I already have an apartment, thanks. Har har har. Really though, I can't make too much fun of a show that has brought me such intense, dare I say orgasmic, joy over the past several months. Perfectly situated on Tuesday evenings, America's Next Top Model gave me a will to live on the otherwise depressing Mondays and Tuesdays at work, and after Tuesday it's Wednesday and the weekend is in sight. My life will now have a deep and painful void. I fear this void can only be filled by the new season of Six Feet Under, which, sadly, doesn't start until June. Sigh. Aside from the brilliance of ANTM itself, I will also miss the written summaries of each episode on UPN.com. Just check out this drama!

Yoanna proceeds to find clippers and runs off to the bathroom to trim her hair herself. She ends up taking a huge chunk out of the back of her hairline and quickly learns why she should have other people cut her hair. Jay thinks that it might be just the competition, but is afraid "she might be breaking down inside."

Mercedes, still watching from the wings, is feeling that everyone loves Yoanna, but wants to tell her, "Bitch, you ain't going nowhere!"

Really, folks, it doesn't get any better than this. 'Till next season, America's Next Top Model. I'll miss you.