Tuesday, April 04, 2006

what happens in ithaca stays in ithaca

And most things in Ithaca stay pretty much the same.

This past weekend Ellen and I made the pilgrimage back to Ithaca, where we found ourselves last year taking life-altering breaks from the big city. In three days we managed to see everyone we planned (and didn't plan) to see. Here are the updates:

My former roommate continues to blow my mind with her antics and I love her for it. On Saturday night the 26-year-old law student left her friend's house at 4:30 a.m. to walk home. Ellen and I were a little worried when she hadn't shown up by 3 p.m. the next day and her cellphone and wallet were in our possession, but all was right with the world when she came home in a mysterious vehicle and told us that on her walk home she'd gotten in a car with some frat boys she didn't know and eventually fell asleep at Sigma Chi.

At our favorite place for beer we ran into the hippie who lived in Morgan's attic. Though his hippie girlfriend had pissed off our other roommate Cody prompting the hippie couple to move to Mexico, he's since returned to Ithaca and is going to have a hippie baby. He still talks like he's been smoking a lot of the "quality African herrrb" that he used to offer me while I was lying on the couch watching America's Next Top Model on VHS.

The Law Students
Every delusion I'd ever had about law school being a potential option for me was obliterated when I got to Ithaca. Law school, or more specifically, top tier law school, is the most depressing institution I can think of. Unless you're insane, it sucks when you're there, and then you graduate and you're either a miserable lawyer or in a miserable amount of debt. At least there's Law School Prom to keep everyone happy! Complete with a $20 cover, non-free drinks, a king and queen, and a sing-along to Livin' on a Prayer. It was at the dinosaur museum. Needless to say, Ellen and I planted ourselves in the corner and made fun of nerds dancing with glowsticks until it got old.

The Regulars
After the painful yet amusing prom debacle, we went to my former place of employment for a drink. The bartender I'd hooked up with is still working there and still says he'll be quitting soon. He didn't immediately ask for money when he handed over our drinks so I just didn't give him any and didn't feel at all bad about that. To my delight, the holy trinity of old-man regulars was there. This includes Creepy Roger who runs between the restaurant, cafe, and lounge like he owns the place, hits on undergrad girls, and occasionally applies for a job there without success, David the Math Professor who is cute and quiet, dresses like a 10-year-old boy, and drinks 2-4 pints of Sierra Nevada until closing, and Fabio John, the physicist with a long golden mane who hits on blondes, talks about his friendship with Carl Sagan and his adventures riding whales in Hawaii, and wears the exact same thing every day, which is a too-small pair of Levi's, a royal purple button down shirt, and a brown tweed blazer.

Morgan's beagle is still fat, allergic to dust mites, and totally fucking adorable.

Gina and Ellen
Though we've moved away from Ithaca and are now enjoying our Ithaca-influenced lives in New York City, we always like to try new things, Ithaca-style

and we still find great humor in bodily functions.


ham sandwich said...

why do i always have to look down the port-a-hole?!? it's never good and likely never will be good.

it's my cross to bear.

Andrew said...

There is some seriously funny and rather unappreciated humor around in the companies that distribute and manage portable toilets. My favorite might be "Johnny On The Spot" waste facilities.

Fat Asian Baby said...

glad to see my ladies are keepin' it real.
working sucks. next time you visit ithaca, i hope you bring me home a jewish lawyer. jeez.

Gina said...

No worries, FAB. I'm pretty sure the one funneling beer into my mouth is still available.