Monday, April 10, 2006

back on the wagon!

Well, the blog wagon at least. The other wagon will have to just roll on by with out me, since the time for to-go margaritas and brown-bagging in the park is nigh.

Here's some random funniness.

*The new game show Deal or No Deal is quite possibly the single worst television show I have ever seen in my entire life. And I'm including The View, Joey, and Revealed With Jules Asner here. It is pointless, uninteresting, and insulting to anyone with a chimpanzee-or-higher IQ. Zulkey's intro to the pointless, uninteresting, and sub-chimp-level IQ "models" of Deal or No Deal, however, is hilarious.

*While we're on the topic of awful television, let's talk about the informercial for Dual Action Cleanse, which, I have to say, beats out Richard Simmons, RonCo, and Climatique for my favorite infomercial of all time. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, A., you need to watch more TV, and B., proceed to Four Four immediately. The talk about four-year olds' poo, the "doctor's" sequined striped sweater, and the creepy-looking inventor named Klee. Pure unintentional comedic genius. Of course, it should come as no surprise that Dual Action Cleanse is a substantial load of detoxified crap (sorry, I had to.)

*I will never forget the first time I saw a PartyBike. It was near my old apartment on the Upper West Side, an area typically safe from the tourist nonsense 20 blocks south. Or so I thought. While walking to Starbucks for my morning soy latte I saw an octopus-esque vehicle go by with seven traditionally midwestern (i.e., morbidly obese) people perched on little bike seats. I stared in stunned horror until the PartyBike disappeared into the horizon. If you're like me and need a second (or first) job, PartyBike is hiring! Incidentally, the PartyBike testimonial from Likesta P. has just made my day:
Likesta P. [Ukraine 12/12/2004]
Party bike is like the coolest thing I like ever did. Big Andre drove our party bike with skill, agility, and precision. He executed turns like no other. The whole experience with the party bike and Big Andre left me very aroused and flustered. We met Big A in rockafeller center and he looked stunning and me and my entourage could do nothing but approach this handsome fellow. I had the time of my life and i owe it all to Andre and his electrifying personality and good will towards men. I will definitely go again with my friends to ride this magical bike A.S.A.P!!!!

these family members are all having orgasms


fish taco said...

i'm thinking we get a couple to-go margaritas and rent a partybike. i see one of two things coming of this: a) we have the night of our lives or b) we are rushed to st. vincent's on a gurney. either way, i'm in.

Gina said...

i'm thinking after the next opening. i don't think you can rent them, but i can't imagine it'd be too hard to hijack. and i just noticed from the pic that they have helmets, so it's aaaaall good.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was only me who couldn't stand 'deal or no deal'. Everyone in the UK seems to love it - I can't understand it and it makes my head hurt.

Gina said...

yeah, and i watch a lot of crap tv (just spent the last hour watching back to back episodes of my super sweet sixteen on mtv) but deal or no deal is in a different realm of suck.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'll happily admit to watching a large number of those Super Sweet Sixteen episodes. Compared to deal or no deal it's super high brow tv.