'tis the season

Now, getting fired last night did not surprise me in the least. I understand those of you who were surprised and thought I'd been exaggerating the patheticness of my work performance, because I was indeed the asshole in high school who freaked out after every other test and told everyone I surely got a C and then of course got the highest grade in the class or, at worst, an A-. But, you see, I was good at school, and I am not good at this whole adult thing. And when I say I suck I really mean it. So anyway, last night after leaving the gym I got a VOICEMAIL letting me know that Blahdy Blah Entertainment Company would no longer be needing my services. This is not at all unlike the time I got dumped by a guy via voicemail, only this time I actually got my shit back.

Ironically, in the Alanis sense of the word, today I got another voicemail from the first staffing agency I met with and with whom I've had no contact for the last four months. The agent informed me of a fabulous high profile advertising job at a hip downtown office with really cool people. One could say this is kismet, but I say there will be plenty of "fabulous" administrative assistant jobs waiting for me whenever I decide to come back here, and that the only thing that can possibly motivate me to get my proverbial shit together at this point is some quality time in a three bedroom ranch in rural Wisconsin with my slightly detached parents and two crazy ass dogs.