Sunday, December 19, 2004

the continuing saga of lenny kravitz's bathroom

So apparently I wasn't paying well enough attention the other night. Turns out the bathroom in which I fucked my hairstylist IS Lenny Kravitz's. Hairstylist's friend is the poor rich soul who lives downstairs and had to vacate his apartment when this mysterious incident occured [via Gawker]:
Lenny Kravitz's Craptabulous Crapper

We're half disgusted, half curious about the state of Lenny Kravitz's toilet, which is "blocked, clogged and congested with various materials," resulting in $333,849.77 worth of water damage to his downstairs neighbor's apartment. The insurance company is now seeking reimbursement in full from the rocker.

"Various materials?" It's 2004, can't we just say "syringes and latex?"
Dear Lenny was then kind enough to let the surprisingly cool investment banker stay in his place while the damages are being repaired. While I expect the bathroom was christened long before I wound up on the counter top, I am still proud to be leaving this city in true New York style and going out with a bang. (Ha, get it, BANG?) Next time you hear from me, I will be sober, crabby as hell from nicotine withdrawal, full of wholesome food, and wearing LL Bean flannel pajamas for at least a week straight.


Anonymous said...

NO NO NO NO. Gina, NO. You can't leave me. I can't deal. Like the wise Avril Lavigne said, I'm losing grip. This cannot be. Pleeeease stay. Waaaaaa. You will be sorely missed by the likes of me. --Drone

Gina said...

Not to worry, sugarplum. Chances are quite good that I will go insane living with my parents, make little to no progress on my Great Life Plan of 2005, and be back in NYC subletting from a stranger I find on Craigslist in the time it took for you to whip up a complete design portfolio from scratch.