Monday, December 06, 2004

fun with sex and links and parentheses

Ah what a weekend. With my apartment securely spoken for, the last of my bills paid (or, rather, waiting patiently for me to open them on top of my fridge, but close enough) and the end of my 1.5 year streak of solid fulltime employment imminent (perhaps a little sooner than I'd anticipated...woops,) I was able to have a lovely, carefree weekend (well except for that part on Friday night...thanks guys.) Here's how to have an awesome weekend just like me!

*Justify skipping the gym by browsing stores all over downtown with male friend who has better style than you. After much trouble with the door (push, not pull, and hard,) stumble into vintage accessories mecca (so big! so cheap (relatively speaking)! and I really want this weird necklace with a giant silver owl on it!) Edith and Daha, and when stylish male friend wonders whether a cool plaid overnight bag is too girly, say yes, definitely, and then buy it yourself. Beg him to carry it home, because you have more places to go (thanks, Drone.)

*Meet friends and friends' friends at quality little Mexican joint after having a hell of a time getting 411 to find "el maguey y la tuna." Gorge self with chiles rellenos (apparently, relleno = mucho queso...mmm) and laugh at Perplexa as she spills hot candle wax on herself.

*Feel superior and far cooler than all those suckers waiting in a 50-person line outside Magnolia by getting YOUR chocolate cupcake with pink vanilla cream frosting and sprinkles at spin-off Sugar Sweet Sunshine. Thank the Good Lord you remembered to take a Pepcid today.

*Play with sex toys at classy and welcoming Toys in Babeland. Despite slutty past (and probably future,) feel like the most white bread, plain vanilla, prudish, "I only do missionary"-type person ever. Spend a little too much time playing with the gigantic "Moby." (Haha, get it? Hint: they're not refering to the little bald musician, despite a bit of a resemblance...)

*Go to Mercury Lounge to see Out Hud, the truly brilliant experimental, instrumental, electronic-y rock band that you only know about because you have cool friends. Stand in the back during the truly atrocious opening band's set making snide remarks about how they really need just one more yuppy-looking girl singing off key while banging a tambourine (because four just isn't enough,) and talking loudly about how they make you want to vomit. Because back hurts like an elderly scoliosis patient's, perch on back of chair near wall for unblocked view of the main event and bop head in lieu of dancing, even though for once you actually feel compelled to. Spot blogger in the audience and think of how weird it is that you know the intimate details of his sex life.

*Go to sleep marvelling at the fact that you are sober and still had fun. Regardless, spend the next day lying hungover-like in front of the television, watching best TV shows ever, including Project Runway, the first of two school shooting episodes on Degrassi: The Next Generation, the famed Paris Hilton South Park episode (related: what the hell is going on with her crotch in this photo?) and the brilliant Talk Sex With Sue Johanson.

No comments: