Friday, July 21, 2006

my not so slow descent into alcoholism

I realized long ago that I needed to tone done my drinking just a tad. "Long ago" being exactly three days into what has turned into a three-month bender. For the past three months, it's been constant temptation and constant "hey sure, why not?" It has been fun as hell. But by no means sustainable. Fuck, in the past three months I've seen Drone, one of my best friends in the whole wide world who happens to live half a block away from me, maybe, maaaybe a total of four times.

So the new interny gig prompted me to not drink a drop for two whole days (seriously, this was a feat.) But perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to throw myself into real, honest-to-goodness alcohol withdrawal the week I added on a part-time job to my already physically demanding full-time one. I've been drinking regularly for the past seven years almost, and the worst I ever had to deal with were the occasional raging day-long hangover and many, many, many idiotic but often hilarious decisions. I guess I just never thought it could be this bad. I guess I'd never "needed" alcohol before nor even understood the concept. But now I understand. Isn't learning fun?!

So in addition to working two 16-hour days, plus a couple dinky 8-hour ones, I've had to deal with the following for the past 48ish hours:

a chest and head cold
persistent dull headache
sharp stomach pains
major beer-gut-esque bloating
the constant sensation that I'm about to crap my pants
hot flashes
hot flashes at the same time as goosebumps
excessive sweating
dry mouth
extreme sleepiness, combined with an inability to actually sleep
shaking, lots of shaking

Tonight I cried at the end of work. My boss/manager gave me an empathetic hug. I had a chicken pot pie and less than a bottle of beer with Ellen. Now I'm going to finish the book I'm reading and go to bed.



ham sandwich said...

I think you're doing a really good job.

Try Deadwood. It works.

Fat Asian Baby said...

what's going on? i'm so confused. are you sure you're not just having a really heinous feminine-type visit?

Gina said...

well that's because we've hardly talked in ages.

megan said...

i know exactly what you're going thru if you ever want to talk about it. love you. -megan