Wednesday, November 02, 2005

getting hangry

It's time for a little life update, folks. Because I am slowly going insane, and talking to the Internets in times like these generally seems to help. I know I'm much better off than I was exactly 365 days ago. Even though I'm still wasting away in unfulfilling corporate servitude, I no longer feel like there is nothing in the world that I could do to make myself happy. Now, I can identify at least five things that I could see myself getting paid to do. I don't cry anymore, I have no desire to makeout with "cool" guys, and I don't buy things I can't afford (though, technically, with my debt I can't even afford a gumball, unless said gumball were to cost negative $9,000.)

My problem is how the hell to go about doing anything. There are so many moves I could make, like taking classes or working on my own projects or going back to school or finding a non-mind-numbing job. I can't help but try to do them all at once, and then I end up half-assing everything and accomplishing nothing.

Here's a little analogy: Once in a very rare while, I will find myself extremely hungry. I am so hungry that all I want to do in the world is eat. But I'm so clouded by the feeling of hunger that I can't decide what I want to eat, even though, at that point, a Communion wafer would taste like molten chocolate cake. So I either lie on the couch in pain or keep walking around the city trying to find that one special sandwich that'll make up my mind for me, all the while getting hangrier and hangrier. It would all be so easy if the only option were, say, a pretzel cart. I'd brush off some of the salt, douse the thing in mustard, and it would be awesome.

8 comments:

P/O said...

porn. porn is clearly the answer for you.

right there with you on your hunger analogy, by the way.

Sub Girl said...

hangry is an excellent word!

Anonymous said...

I love coming back after a weekend away (I was in Paris, get me) and catching up, especially when you've written loads.

The food analogy was brilliant. I live the same life. Except in the last year you've actually managed to move, and get some sort of a 'job', regardless of how bad it seems.

I just can't figure anything out. Except that I'm wasting a whole lot of everything and going absolutely nowhere...

Gina said...

thanks, anonymous. i spent my weekend on the futon so i think you win on that front. anyway, yeah, running away was pretty awesome, but now that i've played that card i actually have to, like, do stuff. blargh.

Hilarius Bookbinder said...

I, hangry too.

Andrew said...

p/o, porn is clearly the answer for everybody.

Robo's Drone said...

Agreed. Porn, Gina. Porn.

midwestgrrl said...

Hangry, excellent work indeed. I get hangry all the time and usually end up with something lame.