Saturday, May 21, 2005

speedbumps

Just two years out of college and I'm already a clueless old fogie. Perhaps you are too: define a "speedbump."

As I learned after being derided mercilessly, a speedbump is a shot of Jaegermeister dropped into a half-pint of Redbull and chugged, ala my beloved Irish Carbombs, only instead of delicious dessert it tastes like cough medicine. FAB called tonight from Chicago (an hour earlier time zone, I just now realized...was wondering why she would call at 3:00 a.m...) with me being two speedbumps into a Collegetown/work afterhours party. I asked if she knew what a speedbump was. "Of course!" she said. "I'm officially an idiot," I thought. "They're those raised areas in a highway to get people to slow down," she said.

Awesome.

In other news, I will be joining the FABmeister in New York on Friday before finishing my waitressing stint up in these parts. It is completely financially irresponsible of me to do so, but you can't put a price on seeing the FAB before she leaves for several months to one of those Eastern European countries that didn't exist 15 years ago.

[Yes, this post was constructed under the influence of some speedbumps, some Keystone Lights (if you have to ask, you'll never know,) and some pot. And yes, the fact that I am on the computer right now and not getting laid is very telling. Though, for the record, I could very well be getting laid if I wanted to, as Mr. Best Date Ever came by the restaurant around 11 tonight and lingered while I hid in the neighboring coffee shop, asking, upon my return, if I "wanted to hang out after work," to which I replied "I can't I'm sick," which he thought was a lie, but which was not at all a lie, though I would've said the same thing even if it were.]

3 comments:

Fat Asian Baby said...

I had a very wholesome umbringing.

Anonymous said...

As I learned after being derided mercilessly, a speedbump is a shot of Jaegermeister dropped into a half-pint of Redbull and chugged...

I thought the commonly accepted nomenclature was "Jaeger Bomb."

Gina said...

that could very well be. the point of this post being that i am clueless. but now i do know for a fact that it is a speedbump in ithaca. the whole redbull and booze heart attack waiting to happen thing didn't catch on until after college for me really, so, yeah.