Friday, October 05, 2007

too-oo much *clap clap* time on my hay-ee-ands

Tonight is the fourth I've spent alone in my apartment since I helped the newly-ex boyfriend move out. (After the best sex ever. To every cloud...) Already, my dates with basic cable and assorted Amy's frozen dinners are getting a little old. It shouldn't have taken me four days to realize this, but I've really pretty much forgotten how to have a social life after not having to make any effort on that front for over a year and a half. Working at the restaurant took up most of my nights (either from actually being at work or getting necessarily wasted after a brunch shift,) and the few I had free were spent convincing one of my small number of close friends in the city that Monday is a great night to go out when you have to work 9-6 for the next four days. Since I am not a huge fan of effort and can be quite convincing, this was a satisfying arrangement. So was having an equally socially-challenged boyfriend to hang out with all the time after quitting the restaurant. Sadly, both of those situations required a great deal of drinking.

So here I am, working somewhat normal-person hours, trying not to think about cigarettes and alcohol, and writing lots and lots of To Do's in my pocket notebook. (And eating an absurd number of Belly Flops, the rejected Jelly Bellys. Gotta love the underdog.) In no particular order, here are the plans I've made in the last few days.

*Call Verizon to get them to remove that $15 a month internet feature they suckered me into when I bought my not-at-all-conducive-to-internet basic camera phone.
*Become a certified Pilates instructor.
*Try to attend Pilates class more than twice a week.
*Save up enough change to buy a new computer. And I do mean change, as in coins. This has been the only saving method that has ever worked for me, starting at age five when I proudly amassed enough nickels to make my very first purchase as an American consumer.
*Get tickets for the Moscow Cats Theatre. Immediately.
*Buy those little felt pads for the legs of my furniture so they don't scratch off any more floor paint.
*Wish I'd made that last plan, like, I dunno, right after I spent a whole day painting the floor.
*Repaint the floor.
*Take the Intro to Graphic Design class at SVA next semester and immediately become the world's most sought-after specialty food packaging artist.
*Buy Walter the Cat a nice new toy for just killing the biggest cockroach I've ever seen. Bless his crazy, hyperactive heart.
*Try to remember how to write in a non-list format.
*Organize a Halloween party where only orange and black(rinded) cheeses are served.
*Attend said party as either a slutty farmer, for which I wouldn't need to buy anything other than some kind of paint to create a missing tooth effect and a big bra that I could stuff with ankle socks, or Jeanne Bice of Quacker Factory fame, which would require a bit more work but would be 110% awesome.
*Take pictures of the 800,000 new "eating and drinking establishments" opening within a two-block radius of my apartment.
*Submit resultant blog post to Eater.com and bask in .15 seconds of food-nerd fame.
*Cross off the cat toy plan, since Walter just puked semi-chewed Deli Cat brand cat food on the handle of my purse.
*Find a good ergonomic desk chair.

Aaaand that's about it for now. Aside from the Verizon part, I think all of this could actually happen!

1 comment:

ham sandwich said...

If you only realize one of these goals, can it be to create a Jeanne Bice costume? You realize this will require you to actually order a Big Shirt.