my blood is boiling, my brain ibm

According to the relatively brief amount of time I've spent reading stuff on the internet in the past two days, I've learned the following:

1. Women do not enjoy and consume wine like men do and should not be served equally at a restaurant. (I could go on another rant about how Christopher Hitchens and every other First World Dweller should be required to spend a year working in a restaurant before they go to college, much less get paid to write an essay about workers in a restaurant, but I have more fish to fry, and a very good book to read.) [via Midwestgrrl]

2. Women do not know the deliciousness of pork and won't buy it unless it's likened to clear nail polish and its infinite usefulness. (I don't even own clear nail polish, but I choose the pork at every opportunity.) [via Jezebel]

3. Women do not have the right to find humor in the sometimes uncontrollable bodily functions that every single person who has ever taken a breath on this earth has experienced. [via Jezebel] Also, here is John Sellers' blog. I particularly enjoyed the post from May 23rd, and I've taken a mental picture of him and cannot wait to fart loudly in his presence should we ever cross paths in Brooklyn.

I have nothing more to say about all of this other than that I find it really sad that some men (notice I sad "some" and didn't try to squeeze half the world's population into one generalization) can't handle the fact that women are human beings, with interests and needs and wants and problems just like them, and do not exist merely to stroke their fragile egos. Also, I think my nails look just fucking fine.