speaking of nursing having its own language...

In the hospital, there is no time for actual, you know, words. As a result, medical professionals have come up with various acronyms, abbreviations, and mnemonic devices to document patient data and aid with assessments. Some of them have more than one (very different) meaning, and many of them make no sense to anyone not high on marijuana (or whatever the kids are getting high on these days...someone in the pediatric ICU let me know?). Here are some of my favorites, so far, in vaguely alphabetical order:

B-52 (or, how to knock out a belligerent psych patient) - Benadryl, 5 mg of Haldol, 2 mg of Ativan
BM - black male, bone marrow, bowel movement
BRBPR - bright red blood per rectum
BRP - bathroom privileges
BURPS - building and understanding roots, prefixes, and suffixes
CABG (pronounced "cabbage") - coronary artery bypass graft
DIAPERS (when assessing for urinary incontinence in the "older adult") - delirium, infection, atrophic urethritis, pharmaceuticals, excess excretion, restricted mobility, stool impaction
ED - eating disorder, emergency department, erectile dysfunction
FFF - fat, female, forty (the most common gallstones demographic)
The Six F's of Abdominal Distention: fat, fluid, flatus, fetus, feces, fibroid (such a ring to it, no?)
DNKA - did not keep appointment
NKDA - no known drug allergies
GSW - gunshot wound
DSW - discount shoe store
(just kidding)
CVA - cerebrovascular accident (woopsies!)
I GET SMASHED (when assessing for pancreatitis) - idiopathic, gallstones, ethanol (booze), trauma, steroids, mumps, autoimmune, scorpion sting (WTF), hypercalcaemia, hypertriglyceridaemia, hypothermia, ERCP (endoscopic retrograde cholangiopancreatography), drugs (e.g., azathioprine, diuretics)
LLL - left lower lobe (of the lung)
RRR - regular rate and rhythm (of the heart)
mg - miligram
Mg - magnesium
MG - myasthenia gravis
MVA - motor vehicle accident
MVP - mitral valve prolapse
OLDCARTS (when assessing anyone complaining of anything) - onset, location, duration, characteristics, associated symptoms, radiation, treatments, summary
PE - physical examination, pulmonary embolism
PROM - passive range of motion, premature rupture of membranes
PUPPP - pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy (in other words, an itchy rash)
SOB - shortness of breath
TLC - tender loving care, total lung capacity (RIP, Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes)