i think i just bought myself at least a few more months of not having to shave my legs

I used to have insomnia. Reeeeal bad insomnia. It pretty much went away after a hearty course of benzodiazepines and learning that the world will indeed go on if I haven't gotten my eight and a half hours. Of course, once in a while I can't sleep to save my life, and now I like it. What better excuse is there to scour Ebay for hours and decide I need to own a bunch of brass Victorian pendants shaped like bats and bugs (for my future career as a jewelry designer, of course), and discovering I've been seriously missing out on this particular Jezebel feature, Crap Email From a Dude, and making up for it by reading the whole mind-blowing catalog. If you have better things to do, at least just read this extra-sparkly gem. If not, you're welcome.

UPDATE: Whooooooo boy, this one might be even better. Bless.