Thursday, September 27, 2007

gina's 10-step prescription for dealing with post-breakup stress

1. Start smoking again.

2. Take Fung Wah bus to visit bff Ellen in Boston. Use this as an excuse to have pork buns for breakfast.

3. Drink a lot of Samuel Adams Oktoberfest.

4. Make fun of MIT nerds, groups of dudes with gelled hair wearing matching button-down shirts, jeans, and square-toed dress shoes, and bad comedy acts that you're forced to watch because the Okkervil River concert downstairs was sold out and you don't want to stop drinking beer.

5. Buy a pair of red patent leather peep toe heels from Steve Madden even though you hate peep toes, heels, and Steve Madden. Whatever, they were ten fucking dollars.

6. Use clothes-shopping thriftiness to justify purchase of the new 80 gig iPod Classic. Wonder what, exactly, with it's matte silver finish, touch wheel, and video capabilities makes it "classic."

7. Drink a lot of Wolaver's Organic Nut Brown beer, even the ones that are "off." Make mental note never to buy organic beer again.

8. Watch Dr. 90210 and Gossip Girl in graduate student housing building's lounge while drinking said beer and wearing sweatpants, farting when wannabe loungers turn around and leave (oh wait, that was Ellen.)

9. Discover that since you own R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 1-12, and Ellen owns R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 13-22, it's kind of like having a friendship bracelet.

10. Eat the best ice cream in the world for lunch, including a taste of a beer-flavored one called [Something] Wort. Really really good, surprisingly. Or not.

Well shit, only five of these ten steps involve beer. I'd say I'm doing pretty alright, no?

No comments: