only in new york, kids

It is with great sadness that I inform you of the impending departure of the Fat Asian Baby. On Monday she will leave the place she has called home for the last 24 years for an indeterminate but definitely too long time. As the FAB is pretty much homeless, I hosted a farewell gathering for her on my roof terrace thingy that featured the only items befitting of this occasion: meat and beer.

Last night I met up with the FAB after work, and we went to Gristedes to buy supplies. I'm normally a Fairway kinda girl, but Gristedes is half a block closer to my place, there's never anyone there, and there are these creepy cartoon chicken and cow statues that talk to you when you take the escalator downstairs and that I am becoming strangely obsessed with. Anyway, we rounded up several cases of beer, a couple of meat products, and various grilling necessities. Upon checkout, we realized that it would be rather difficult for the two of us to carry 60 beers and four bags of groceries, even just two blocks. As we were trying in vain to distribute the bags, a kind stranger came to the rescue.

"Here, take my shopping cart," he said. I hesitate to use the pronoun "he," because said stranger had quite sizable breasts and was dressed in a silky feminine shirt and tight white pants. He reminded me of an older, more weathered RuPaul. Apparently, he was turning in aluminum cans for the deposit money, and had found a shopping cart on the street somewhere that he no longer needed. After a pause to process the fact that a homeless drag queen had just offered us a free shopping cart, the FAB and I accepted the gift graciously.

So thanks again, Homeless Gristedes Drag Queen. I will think fondly of you whenever anyone says New Yorkers are unfriendly and selfish, and, of course, whenever I use my new shopping cart to procure mass quantities of cheap beer.

(I have spent all morning figuring out how to do this fancy picture posting technique)